Seven Tears into the ocean

I was laying in a hot tub with an herbal oil that I made thinking about my empty womb and the empty moon. In my mind I saw a naked woman standing on the shore. I saw her under a new moon on the isle of Skye with a peat fire in the distance. We all know this woman even if we don't know her name, she is the Selkie Woman. Every woman is a Selkie Woman and she is empty like we are empty once a month. Here is a version I really like. This folklorist tale puts in details that make the story come alive, but the essence remains exactly the same.

http://www.chalicecentre.net/selkie.htm


I was not raised with this tale. This tale was introduced to me through a book called 'Spinning straw into gold' by Joan Gould. Ms. Gould is a very good author and this book is a good read. The story had a profound impact upon me. In fact from the time of my last post to this one I had a in depth conversation about our Selkie woman with a co worker. My co worker is not of European decent, but the story resonates with all women. This woman is recently married, and 3 months ago gave her new husband a child. She told me she felt as if something was missing in her life and she was going to go to counseling to figure it out. I am not opposed to counseling, and have gone to counseling before. But there are things in life that are so human and in her/our case so feminine there is nothing a counselor could do. I told her this and told her the story of our Selkie woman. This is what I told her:

All women loose a part of themselves when they marry. This is the way. This is how it always has been and always will be. This is what keeps our species alive. Once we bear children again we loose a part of ourselves. Our European story tells us this. Somehow in our modern culture we think there is something wrong with this, but why? Those selkie men do not make good husbands the stories clearly tell us this. And you cannot continue to party under the new/full moon while there is a husband or children at home, but why would you really want to? That is who we were, accept who you are now.

During our conversation we chatted about past loves, and how those men would have been horrid fathers. It was a good conversation and any time I talk about our women's lore is good. As I sit here I cannot really think of how I mourned my maidenhood. I did not tell her goodbye, I did not honor her. That is not something that happens in our culture. The closest thing I can think of is when a bride is carried over the threshold. From one life to the next. But that is not very common anymore as most women think of it as a sexist act. I have to think that not acknowledging the transition somehow we are still left with the lingering thought that something is missing. I will think on this and do more research as this is the first time I have thought about a ritual of sorts to Honor the feminine transitions in life.

Our Selkie woman is so alone. She is empty. This is not a negative as emptiness is a transition into fullness. So honor the empty, honor the barren, honor the Selkie. I have found some interesting theories on the Selkie. When put in the context I am about to write it adds a richness to our stories. If what I write is true or not, know one can really know, but it is quite irrelevant as the lesson is still the same.

For quite some time many believed the Selkie and the Fin people were 2 distinct races of faerie. They most definitely are different now as our myths evolved through the centuries. But what if they are one in the same? If they have the same origin then our Selkie stories make more sense. And what if the Selkie/Fin were Saami fishermen? Sailing south because of the mini ice ages. And what if a northman fisherman rescued a Saami from the shores and they married? Ahh, then we see clarity in our story. Put in context religion. The Saami never really converted to Christianity. So the Christian fisherman marries the pagan Saami. She would have been so different from him she could have been from the ocean or mars.

Our Selkie/Saami woman now alone in a foreign country. She would have been a good mother. She would have loved her children. But she was not with her own kind. Instead of worshiping Skadi in the forest with her people she would be stuffed every Sunday into a church worshiping a god she had no connection to. When her husband is at sea she walks the shoreline to be closer to her gods as she has not given them up although stranded on new soil. When her husband is home during the long winter months she hums the songs of her gods and he sulks by the fire. The chance to worship her gods on her own soil must have been a powerful call. And she will be faced with a decision that will change everything.

Here I would like to point something out. In every version of the story I have read the fisherman is a good man and a good father. He is everything you want in a husband. He is not a drunkard. He has a job. He has a home. When home in the winter he spends it with his family. He loves his children and cares for them. He teaches his children how to fish and thus gives them a skill to sustain their lives. But this story is not about him. It is not a story for men, except maybe a cautionary tale to be careful whom you choose as a bride. But even then who is to know what decision a woman will make when faced with a choice? Some women hear the call so loudly it does not matter if the husband is good.

My mother used to say growing up "women don't just leave. there is always a reason why a woman leaves her family". But that is not a true statement, and years later I see the folly in this kind of thinking. My mother would use this as an excuse to remain unmarried. Every single man she would meet she would say the above statement, as they were all divorced. The truth of the matter is women do just leave. My husband and his first wife were married at 19. I imagine one day she woke up and said this is not the life I want. And she left. There were no children, but if there were I think she would have left them also. She is not a bad person, but when faced with the call of the selkie she made the decision to leave.

And in the context of our story being of the Saami, I imagine another happenstance of a Saami person sailing by as our Selkie woman walked the shore. Her sealskin had returned. Her way home. The story points out the children were almost grown. I wonder if she would have made the same decision if the children were still little. We will never know because that is not how it was told.

Most modern interpretations take the story literally, and I think there is a very literal point to the story like I mentioned with my husbands first wife. But what about the spirit side of the story? I was raised in a apocalyptic fundamentalist christian religion. One of my ex boyfriends broke up with me because he said he was afraid I would go back to the religion. As if the call would be too strong to resist. He was certain he was with a Selkie. If I look deep into my spirit honestly, I see the longing. When I left the religion I lost almost everything. When I say almost everything the only thing I did not loose was my spirit. If I were to listen to the call and return to the 'tribe' I would instantly get it all back. So there I was, empty. Godless, friendless, motherless, fatherless, homeless, and possession less. I would be welcomed back with open arms and I would get my inheritance. I would be the prodigal child. Just like our Selkie. One can never truly know the future or the decisions we are faced to make. So I will not say I would never go back to that religion, but the odds are very unlikely as my previous life was not a life of love, stability or nurturing.

My takeaway from a story like this is honor the inner Selkie woman. If we ignore her she will come and bite us in the ass, and we will feel as if there is no way out except to make the the most drastic of choices. So in this monthly time of emptiness do something that brings her honor. Take a bath with oils, get a massage or drink a hot cup of Skull cap, oat straw & angelica tea!

More info than you could imagine on the stories of the Selkie:
http://www.orkneyjar.com/folklore/selkiefolk/