Cravings and manic hairdressers

Dedicated to Saga, Goddess of lore. I have had a hard time writing this and so with the help of Saga I can finish my words.

While pregnant the mother told a fellow hippie she wished her daughter would be beautiful. The man hippie said to the mother never wish for such a thing, as those who are beautiful are always unhappy and have too many problems. The easily persuaded mother then began to wish her daughter was as average and boring as the seagulls on the beach. So began my life.

In the last few weeks Rapunzel has been in the fore front of my mind. In a conversation with other Heathen women I had to defend her as a very important story. Another Heathen woman sent me this beautiful portrayal of her.

And recently I re-watched ‘Into the Woods’, a Broadway play about our folk way. Every time she spoke loudly to me, and now I am honoring her voice. Here is the annotated story:

http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/rapunzel/index.html

This story touches on so many issues that face modern day Heathens. The first issue here deals with infertility. Infertility is a plague in our society. For the last 5 years or so my husband and I have felt as if we had forgotten something. When we traveled or visited a new place there had always been a feeling of something missing. This is infertility at it’s most painful part. It is so hard for some couples to deal with their marriage fails. The industry it has created is a billion dollar industry. And when one looks closely at adoption things are not as rosy as they appear on the outside. I like the phrase here “they were good people” because when dealing with the pain of being unable to conceive, and seeing drug addicts and smokers having babies it makes it even more of a blow.

Our good couple is now blessed with a child. Here is a part where I am conflicted, and that is a good thing. In one hand the father is a perfect exemplar of the diving masculine, but in the other hand he utterly fails. The father risks his life to provide the needed nutrients for his wife and unborn child. Maria Tatar accuses the wife of selfishly seeking her own gain, but I don’t agree with this assessment. While pregnant the body needs what the body needs. Denying those “cravings” could cause harm to the child and the mother. And sometimes not having a sausage biscuit in the morning is a life or death matter, which I would have given away ½ my kingdom just to get one. So Rampion, sausage biscuits or pickles and ice cream is the way a father can show his true character as provider and protector of his wife and child. Embodying the essence of how to be a tru Heathen male.

But then the father is caught. And what does he do? Shows his utter frailty and in his terror agrees to everything the witch demands. What a pussy. How does he know what the witch will do with the child? As we all know witches like to eat children. Here he willing gives up the child to save his own neck. This is not how a Heathen man should act!

The witch wants the child for apparently another reason. She wants a companion. I get the feeling that the witch really loves Rapunzel. They spend their days together, and Rapunzel knows no other life. When Rapunzel turns 12, the time of menstruation, she is locked away in a tower. A phallic tower with no doors or stairs. Out of sight from society. Instead of celebrating her transformation into womanhood she is punished for it. Why would a witch mother do this? On the surface the appearance of protecting her daughter from the wicked world, but underneath is a boiling cauldron of disappointment and jealousy. No matter how many spells and potions the witch mother does she is still old and past her prime in life. No matter how much Rapunzel hides her beauty and consoles the witch mother she is still the most beautiful under the sun.

While lying in my bed reading my witch mother came into my room. She yelled at me and slapped me for wearing a bra to bed. Tears streaming down my face I tried to tell her I was not wearing a bra. She stormed out of my room. This is just one story of hundreds I could relate about her. Her jealously knew no bounds. She would lash out in anger at her self on a daily basis.

Because Rapunzel is naïve about life the first male that enters her life wins her. This is a dangerous state to be in. In the witch mothers locking her away she created the catalyst for change. If the witch mother had let nature run their course none of that would have happened, and we would have lacked a very good tale.

In Grimms earlier telling of the tale he has Rapunzel asking the witch mother “why is my dress getting tighter around the middle?” I like this version much better as Rapunzel has no idea what her encounters with the prince actually mean. The witch mother in bitter despair cuts her hair off and banishes her. Here we are reminded of Loki cutting Sif’s hair. In the sagas when a woman’s beauty is mentioned it is always about her hair. By the cutting of the hair the woman was violated and her beauty lost. In final retaliation of Rapunzel the witch mother cuts away what made her the most beautiful under the sun. When the prince comes to save Rapunzel he survives his encounter with the witch mother, but is left blind.

Again in the earlier version, Rapunzel is wandering around the desert with twins. WTF? Here is a teenage girl who can barely take care of herself now alone with twins. How she survives we will never know. It seems impossible. She does not leave her twins to the elements which would have been the easy solution. She does not go on welfare and get a cell phone. She survives and eventually meets with the prince again, and lives happily ever after. But I doubt that.

The broadway musical does not end here, and I agree with where they took the story. The witch mother is distraught with sadness and remorse. Rapunzel is a mess, and the prince is tired of her screaming and crying so he goes looking for a new woman to rescue. Rapunzel in her craziness is killed.

How does one recover from a witch mother? I wish I had the answer to this as I deal with it on a daily basis. But fundamentally as the story indicates is to survive. And not to become a witch mother myself. Recognizing when our girls become women as a wondrous ritual is another way to avoid becoming a witch mother.

This is why I feel very strongly about women’s lore. We see our foibles reflected back to us in the tales, and thus we can change them.

Tomorrow I brew, today I bake.

It has been a few moons since I have posted last. The last couple of months have been very chaotic, and the chaos does not seem to abate. But I felt like I should take out a few hours and post something on the blog. First off Happy Mother’s Day! Today I want to go into another spinning tale. Rumpelstiltskin.

http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/rumpelstiltskin/index.html

What captivates my mind with this story, as Maria Tatar points out, no one in the story is particularly good. There are no real moral guidelines with the tale. Each person is a liar, greedy or rash. In comparison to the humans in the tale the Gnome is the one who comes off the best. He is the only one who shows compassion and holds those around him accountable to their words.

The catalyst to the story is the father. He trying to “appear as a person of some importance” tells the king he has a daughter who can spin straw into gold. As true Heathens we take pride in our boasting. Boasting is our way, but when a boast becomes a lie that is when things can go wrong. The father puts his daughter’s life at risk because of his lie. It is very interesting that lie is spoken so that he can appear more important than he really is. The king also readily accepts the lie as truth. If the king would have stopped and thought about what the poor miller was saying he would have realized it could not have been true. If a daughter really could spin straw into gold, why was this man not rich? This is an important lesson for us. Listen to someone’s words with discernment. As accepting a lie as truth could be just as dangerous for the hearer as the teller.

The king takes the girl in and tells her if she does not spin straw to gold she will die. She despairs. No one is able to do such a task. Magically the gnome appears and offers to do this for her. 3 times he comes and 3 times she gives him a gift in exchange for the deed. A necklace, a ring and lastly her first born child. Just as her father bartered with her life so she barters with her future child’s life. We have learned in the last few years how patterns between parents and children repeat. What your mother did for good or bad is more than likely what you will do as a mother. This cycle can be broken, but it takes a person to be self aware of their actions. To be present and understand the motivations of their actions. Any cycle can be broken.

And so life goes on. We learn this because the queen has forgotten all about the gnome. It is hard to imagine the day she realized she was pregnant this was not the first thing on her mind, but it wasn’t. So we see the queen does not hold oaths sacred.

The queen is clever and she uses all the resources available to her to solve the problem. She does solve the problem and in the end pulls one over on the gnome. I don’t like the way the story ends as it is the gnome is the one who through the story was true. When the queen did not fulfill her oath he came calling. When she cried he took pity on her and gave her a second chance. This gnome saved her life. He should have been given more credit. It feels as if the queen has learned nothing from her actions.

A shorter post than usual, but I feel packed with useful information.

Do you know Habetrot?

While reading Myths and Symbols in Pagan Europe my husband turned to me and asked me; Do you know Habetrot? I didn’t know her. So I googled her, oh my lucky stars did I want to know her. This story is quite different from where we have been before. I fell in love with Habetrot and her tribe of spinning spinsters…so here you go, I would encourage you to read the entire tale.

http://www.allfiberarts.com/library/poetry/blhabetrot-f.htm

In the beginning is a lovely woman child who is just not good at spinning. She is the outdoorsy type. Today we would call her a granola. It is not that she disdains the art of spinning, she really wants to please her mother and her society she just is not good at it. No amount of beatings and coercion can make her good at it. In the past when spinning was so important to the livelihood of the family this was a serious flaw, but nature is nature. In our current world we also have certain expectations of what girls should be or do. Sometimes they are just not that way like in our story. I really want my daughter to become a medical doctor, but that might not be her nature at all. She might really want to join a Harry Potter rockabilly band. I think this is a valuable lesson for mothers here in this story; girls do not always do what we would like them to do. Sometimes if the girl is resourceful and smart that is the best thing for her.

Upon the girls despair she runs into Habetrot next to the self-bored stone. Habetrot offers to help her. And she takes the lint with her to her group of earth spinning women. When the girl wakes up she hears Habetrot say “I’ve promised the yarn and Habetrot always keeps her promise”. I have wanted to write about promises for a while, but have yet to have the opportunity until now. As heathens we take pride in keeping our word. We hold our words sacred especially those spoken into the horn. Along with the words spoken externally as sacred so should the words spoken internally. Promises made to oneself should be as sacred as promises made to another person. If we as women cannot hold ourselves to the promises made internally how can anyone externally hold us to a promise made? Heathenry starts in the spirit first, then the hearth and then maybe the tribe if part of one. On this new moon be mindful of promises you make to yourself. If you say I will walk 5 miles today then do it. If you say I will learn how to make cheese this weekend then do it. Hold yourself to your own words. Be your own Thule!

In the beginning I asked if you knew Habetrot. I am still asking that question right now. Is she a spinning goddess? Is she an earth goddess? Is she a land wight? Is she a disir? Is she an old maid part of a tribe? Or is she all of those things? Myths and Symbols put her as a land wight. Some folklorists make her to be a goddess on par with Frau Holle. The spinning goddesses are a powerful lot, and should never be underestimated. Spinning is the work solely for women, and these goddesses are all about the divine feminine. I have never spun thread, and I can imagine very few modern women have spun. I would like to try it, as I get the impression the repeated monotonous motion would lend itself easily to travel between the worlds. The mind free to wander as the body stays to do the work. I think it would be a good experiment, so if any Heathenettes try this let me know. But back to Habetrot I think why Davidson puts her in the land wight bucket is because she lives under the self-bored stone. Which makes sense to us. But I am not sold on the idea of her being a land spirit. Whatever she is, she is a powerful motivator and leader. Which we could always use more of in Heathenry.

As a person who is less esoteric in my thinking than most Heathens what I see in Habetrot is a real person in a tribe. If we look at her in a tribal archetypal position, in my mind, it makes more sense. Not every woman will marry in a tribe, and some will marry and their husbands will die. If unmarried how would they support themselves? A few days ago I was browsing through craigslist and there was a posting for a free piece of cake! Wow a free piece of cake, so I clicked on the link. The woman who was giving away the free pieces of cake said she would travel anywhere in the metro area to give them a piece. The pieces of cake looked very good from the photograph. And then if you really liked the free piece of cake you could buy the whole cake for $20. This is when I thought of Habetrot. This is exactly what she did, secured an income for herself and the unmarried women. By knowing or spae that the girl would become the Lairds wife, she quickly took advantage of the situation. When the Laird did not want his new wife to become disfigured he gave Habetrot the contract! What a clever thing she did.

This story embodies the essence of my blog. This story is all about place in society. And making a place in society if there is not one yet created. The girl/now bride found her place as the Laird’s wife. This was perfect for her as she could be outdoors as much as she wanted and fulfill her true nature. She married a man who encouraged her to fulfill her true nature. Habetrot created a place for herself. Where some unmarried women became drains on their families Habetrot stood up made a career out of the divine feminine. Not all of us are spinners, not all of us are the wives of Laird’s, but there is a place for each and every one of us!

If I were to have a patron goddess….

It would be Frau Holle. The original goddess of the wild hunt, and supreme earth mother. I love the story of Frau Holle because this is where a deity was allowed to live on in the consciousness of a people. Through the underestimation of the power of our mother goddesses. So sit back enjoy as we fall deep into our well of the unconscious feminine memory.

http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm024.html

After looking through so many tales I think the symbolism is fairly straight forward at the beginning here. We have our girl who has begun to bleed and transforms into a woman. When the reel was completely bloody that is when she is ushered into a parallel world. The world of the gods. This is the destiny of all women even if ignored. All women have the power to walk between the worlds, and I believe this is the power to walk between our conscious and unconscious selves. Jung made this popular, but this is not something new points out Nuala Ni Dhomhnaill: “The way so-called depth psychologists go on about the subconscious nowadays you'd swear they had invented it, or at the very least stumbled on a ghostly and ghastly continent where mankind had never previously set foot. Even the dogs in the street in West Kerry know that the "otherworld" exists, and that to be in and out of it constantly is the most natural thing in the world....”

In the parallel world the heroine comes across talking bread and talking apple trees. Our American psyche has labeled bread as an evil. Carbs are bad. I think it is funny that a unit of food is labeled as evil or bad, but that is my personal opinion. The wonder bread of the supermarket is not the most optimum source of nourishment. Most of the breads sold in grocery stores contain high fructose corn syrup which do a number on the liver. (Just to combat the HFCS advertising when HFCS is ingested the body thinks it is getting sugar and prepares the proper chemical release to handle the sugar. The problem is HFCS is significantly more sweet than sugar so the body cannot keep up thus damaging the liver. And HFCS in moderation is NOT the same as sugar don’t believe the advertising!) Bread made with whole grains and natural yeast is very nourishing and good for your body. Natural fermentation of bread produces enzymes that are very good for the body. Here is how to make your own sourdough starter using natural yeasts in your geographical area. *this is taken from Paul Pitchford’s Healing with Whole Foods

Sourdough Starter
1 cup water
1 cup whole-wheat flour

In a sterilized jar and with a sterilized spoon mix flour and water. Cover with a cotton cloth. Live airborne yeasts will begin to turn it sour. Stir daily with sterilized spoon for uniform fermentation. After 3 days your starter will be ready. Loosely cover with lid and store in a cool place

Sourdough Bread
14 cups whole-wheat flour
5 cups water
1 ½ t. salt
1 cup sourdough starter

Mix 7 cups flour with water, salt and starter. Add remaining flour slowly until dough becomes to thick to stir. Knead gently until smooth, uniform and elastic. Cover and let rise 2 hours in non metal bowl. Replenish starter. Knead dough again. Shape into 3 or 4 loaves. Cut shallow slits in top to keep from cracking. Place in oiled and floured bread pans. Cover let rise 4-6 hours. Place in cold oven with a pan of plain water on oven floor. Bake at 425 F for 15 min. Lower heat to 350 F continue cooking until golden about 45 minutes.

The newly bleeding girl now meets Frau Holle. From Frau Holle the girl refines her skills to make her a better bride. She is so industrious Frau Holle rewards her with a dowry. With the help of the earth mother she is magically transformed.

In a previous post I talked about the fact we do not have a ritual in modern society of a girl starting menstruation. Saying good bye to the girl we were. While reading Women’s work by Elizabeth Wayland Barber I came across the “string skirt”. Barber conjectures that the string skirt was symbolic of having reached menarche, but not menopause. Of childbearing age. This would be an awesome tradition to incorporate into our Heathen ways. The women of the tribe work on making a string skirt for the young girl who has reached puberty. Recognizing her new status in the community and blessing her with fertility for the future. Of course Frau Holle would be the one called upon.

Our young woman is ready now to walk among the conscious. She is ready to be part of society and find a mate. I think this is interesting as most teenage girls do seem to be sleep walking. I know I did. I barely remember 13-17. I see flashes of memory but always with a dark haze over them. I slept a lot, and when I was awake I still was asleep. In future posts I will talk about this stage of life as we have many tales that teach us about our sleeping phase.

The other daughter goes through the same process, and has very different results. This girl was not fit for marriage. Frau Holle can guide someone who is willing and ready, but she can’t guide someone who is lazy and unwilling to work. On a spirit level I think there is a lesson here. Those who dabble into a parallel world will end up with pitch or a curse. Those who are diligent in their work with be blessed with riches. We cannot think going to the world of the gods is going to be a walk in the park like the other daughter did, it takes hard diligent work.

In the end of spirit or of material the moral to all Heathen women is the same, the industrious woman will receive the blessing. A good solid Germanic moral. So happy baking and WAES HAEIL!!!

Awkward hussies, crazy blockheads and wretches

And today I am a little late, last time to early now late. We are preparing our way to moot in the Poconos so it has been more hectic than normal. I have read that this is a little known tale, but it was my favorite growing up. I would read and retell the story over and over. I remember playing pretend to this fairy tale also. So I will share my gem with you today. It is Snow White & Rose Red.

http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/rosered/index.html#THIRTY9RET

As we can see from the tale we are challenged with the same themes I have talked about before; duality of the sacred feminine, beast husbands, and transformation.

There are some very interesting other gems within this tale, that puzzled me as a child. The first aspect of the tale is the naming of the girls. The girls are named after 2 beautiful rose bushes on the land. It was the custom to plant roses on someone’s grave, so I can’t help be reminded of our Heathen custom of naming our children after our ancestors. If the tale just said Sara & Jane we would not have known that they took the names of ancestors, but snow white & rose red we are given a clue of ancestral reverence. I have raised a horn to my “little ancestors” our future children. Maybe the child is the reincarnation of the ancestor whose name it bears, or maybe its cellular memory causes the child to resemble the ancestor. Either way it is a beautiful blessing to have a “little ancestor”.

There are so many Rose myths about the creation of the red rose. But always the rose started out white and then was transformed into red. I have read the dog rose rosa canina was dedicated to the goddess Frigg. And to me this makes sense as most of the fairy tales are about making one suitable for marriage. So the goddess of marriage and motherhood would be a beautiful symbol in a tale. Our goddess representations are all around us we need to have a watchful eye.

The red rose is our modern symbol of love. Our lovers day is almost upon us. I have heard women say they do not like roses. Maybe they really feel that way I don’t know, but being presented with a bouquet of red roses, to me, is the essence of the divine feminine. Some say cut flowers are a waste of money. And being ever so vigilant of my families pocket book I can see how it would appear as a waste of money. Flowers cut or in a garden represent the cycle of life. And like I said, the divine feminine cycle of life. Budding, Blooming, Dying.

Roses were used as a protection for milk and butter. When I first read that I thought hmmm…most women are far removed from the farm. The milk most drink is pasteurized, as is the butter. I drink whole raw milk from a local farm. When I tell people I drink this milk they always tell me of so and so who caught some illness from raw milk. And it is very true raw milk can carry disease. But instead of caring for the cows/farms and making them clean the government has banned raw milk and pasteurized it. If you are interested in raw milk here is a very good resource to learn about it’s benefits. http://www.realmilk.com/

A note is made on surlalune which I found very interesting. The women sat around the hearth reading to each other. We may not think this is a big deal, but it really is. These ladies are educated. A very important lesson for Heathen women. Education is paramount. Our daughters must be educated. Not just in things domestic, but in maths, science, philosophy etc. This is what attracts the bear to his future mate.

Now we meet the evil dwarf. I have to say he is pretty evil. He says some really mean things to the girls. The bears approach to solving the dwarf problem and the girls approach are radically different. This is the difference between men and women. Sometimes women give and give and all they get in return is name calling. Why the girls kept helping this insolent dwarf mystified me as a child. And I am still a little perplexed, but when I look at the Women who love to much book on Amazon I see this is a big problem for women. When reading the story I get the impression the cycle would have continued forever. The dwarf is so ungrateful for them saving his life he even offers them up as sacrifice instead of himself.

As a society there are whole groups of people with this dwarf’s mentality. And I am sure there are many within your own families who act like this. In a wise woman seminar I went to once the whole lecture was how as women we can say no. By saying no we force others to stand on their own. The girls were constantly helping the dwarf out of his situations that he got himself into, until one day they could not help him anymore.

As a child I always thought it was so funny that out of nowhere the prince had a brother. Popped up “and rose red married the prince bears brother”. Where did he come from? Who is he? Why wasn’t he helping the bear hold on to his treasure in the first place? But it does not really matter in the end. If they are the same girl, or if they are separate girls they both found love in the end. And may you also find love!

An apple a day keeps the trolls away

I am a little early as we still have about 36 hours before the moon is totally full. My weekend is chock full of activities so I need to write this today. Let’s start off with the delightful tea of vanilla rooibos & red clover to honor the full womb/moon. It sounds like a strange combination but it quite good and nourishing. I am going to write about the story ‘east of the sun west of the moon’ an enchanting Norwegian tale.

http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/eastsunwestmoon/index.html

Above is an annotated version, I don’t always agree with the notes but they are interesting none the less. This story is very complex and there are many layers to the tale. As with many of the tales we have been given this tale is about the transition from girlhood to motherhood. We start off with an arranged marriage. Not just any arranged marriage, but a marriage to a beast. This is no longer part of the paradigm of western women, but we can all imagine what it must have been like to be forced into marriage. I can imagine to a young girl any man would be a beast of sorts. This kind of tale like beauty and the beast teach the girl men can change into decent human beings.

For so many years I have heard physiologists say do not try to change a man. Wouldn’t that be nice. But any Heathen woman truly connected to her folk soul knows we have to change our men. If we didn’t we would be living in filthy homes and have Budweiser breakfasts; true beasts. A strong Heathen woman can take a beast man and make him into a civilized man. I have seen it time and time again. Men I thought would never settle down, once the right woman came along they did change and became house bound. Not only did they become house bound they told me they were happy! My Heathen husband has made remarkable transformation for the better. He is a true gentleman, but it took a lot of work and nagging. My husband says to me quit nagging me, and I say back to him if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t nag. A woman who loves her husband wants to see him transform to be the best he can be, and we nag for it.

Our Lass riding on the back of her new beast husband on her way to a faraway place. I have read many a commentary about the sexual nature of this. I am not sure I agree with it, but it could be the moving from girl to sexual girl with the symbolism of riding on the beasts back.

As our Lass settles into the castle it is not a normal place, and she has never seen her husband although lying next to him in bed. I have to think this is a retelling of the Psyche and Cupid tale by the northwomen. Her mother convinces her to look upon her husband.

This is what most modern interpretations take from the story. And most equate this to adultery. I get the feeling though this is a broader spectrum than just adultery. It is anything we refuse to face as women. And all of us do this in our lives. We choose, and I will state this again WE CHOOSE to live in darkness. We may not know we have made the choice, but we have. Adultery is the easiest, because when our partner is unfaithful we know it, but many times choose not to address it. But there are many other things that we ignore instead of deal with. I was 5 months pregnant, I was sitting in my car and I thought to myself wow this is weird my pants still fit me. A week later I was walking around at a county fair and I felt wetness. I thought to myself wow I must be sweating a lot. What I knew, but refused to hold a candle to, my baby was dead. A week later I was forced to deal with the fact. The mother is the one who counsels us to look where we fear to tread. The divine mother who knows it is better to deal with something now rather than wait for it to blow up. She appears to be a nag, but like I said earlier she would not nag if she did not love. The beast is afraid of her, he is afraid of her wisdom and tries to prevent the Lass from talking to her mother. No one can stop the concern from our Disir, they will speak and if we listen we will be rewarded.

Our Lass travels to find her lost love. She is given 3 things by 3 crones. A golden Apple. A golden carding comb. A golden spindle. The 3 things to make a perfect wife. Fertility, Physical Beauty and domestic excellence. From this story I see another transition in the divine feminine moving from being sexual to being wife. This fits in with our model today. We are sexual long before we are wife. The awakening of the sexual part of our being helps in the transition to the domestic part of our beings.

The golden apple. We love our golden apples as they make us think of Idunna. The beautiful goddess. Here is a wassail from North Somerset to the apple tree you can say the next time you pass one or are in an orchard:

Old Apple Tree, we wassail thee
And hoping thou wilt bear
For the Lord doth know, where we shall be,
Till apples come another year
To bear well and bloom well,
So merry let us be
Let every man take off his hat
And shout to the Old Apple Tree
Old Apple Tree, we wassail thee
And hoping thou wilt bear
Hats full, caps full, three-bushel bags full
And a little heap under the stairs

I will touch briefly on the troll bride because there is a beautiful story for the duality of bride I will talk about in a later time. Here we shown the duality of the feminine she is both troll bride and beautiful bride. As we all are. We cannot be beautiful bride all of the time, especially when we hold a candle to something we have chosen not to see. Every woman then becomes Troll. Some women cause thousands of dollars of damage, but we all know the feeling of being cheated on and what it does to our personalities.

Through the domestic wonders of our beautiful bride she is able to win the prince and bear children. Our tale is about transformation. Men can transform yes, but usually always with the help of a woman. A woman transforms on her own through examining her own person, examining her shadow her troll. Let us all celebrate the journey to transformation!

Seven Tears into the ocean

I was laying in a hot tub with an herbal oil that I made thinking about my empty womb and the empty moon. In my mind I saw a naked woman standing on the shore. I saw her under a new moon on the isle of Skye with a peat fire in the distance. We all know this woman even if we don't know her name, she is the Selkie Woman. Every woman is a Selkie Woman and she is empty like we are empty once a month. Here is a version I really like. This folklorist tale puts in details that make the story come alive, but the essence remains exactly the same.

http://www.chalicecentre.net/selkie.htm


I was not raised with this tale. This tale was introduced to me through a book called 'Spinning straw into gold' by Joan Gould. Ms. Gould is a very good author and this book is a good read. The story had a profound impact upon me. In fact from the time of my last post to this one I had a in depth conversation about our Selkie woman with a co worker. My co worker is not of European decent, but the story resonates with all women. This woman is recently married, and 3 months ago gave her new husband a child. She told me she felt as if something was missing in her life and she was going to go to counseling to figure it out. I am not opposed to counseling, and have gone to counseling before. But there are things in life that are so human and in her/our case so feminine there is nothing a counselor could do. I told her this and told her the story of our Selkie woman. This is what I told her:

All women loose a part of themselves when they marry. This is the way. This is how it always has been and always will be. This is what keeps our species alive. Once we bear children again we loose a part of ourselves. Our European story tells us this. Somehow in our modern culture we think there is something wrong with this, but why? Those selkie men do not make good husbands the stories clearly tell us this. And you cannot continue to party under the new/full moon while there is a husband or children at home, but why would you really want to? That is who we were, accept who you are now.

During our conversation we chatted about past loves, and how those men would have been horrid fathers. It was a good conversation and any time I talk about our women's lore is good. As I sit here I cannot really think of how I mourned my maidenhood. I did not tell her goodbye, I did not honor her. That is not something that happens in our culture. The closest thing I can think of is when a bride is carried over the threshold. From one life to the next. But that is not very common anymore as most women think of it as a sexist act. I have to think that not acknowledging the transition somehow we are still left with the lingering thought that something is missing. I will think on this and do more research as this is the first time I have thought about a ritual of sorts to Honor the feminine transitions in life.

Our Selkie woman is so alone. She is empty. This is not a negative as emptiness is a transition into fullness. So honor the empty, honor the barren, honor the Selkie. I have found some interesting theories on the Selkie. When put in the context I am about to write it adds a richness to our stories. If what I write is true or not, know one can really know, but it is quite irrelevant as the lesson is still the same.

For quite some time many believed the Selkie and the Fin people were 2 distinct races of faerie. They most definitely are different now as our myths evolved through the centuries. But what if they are one in the same? If they have the same origin then our Selkie stories make more sense. And what if the Selkie/Fin were Saami fishermen? Sailing south because of the mini ice ages. And what if a northman fisherman rescued a Saami from the shores and they married? Ahh, then we see clarity in our story. Put in context religion. The Saami never really converted to Christianity. So the Christian fisherman marries the pagan Saami. She would have been so different from him she could have been from the ocean or mars.

Our Selkie/Saami woman now alone in a foreign country. She would have been a good mother. She would have loved her children. But she was not with her own kind. Instead of worshiping Skadi in the forest with her people she would be stuffed every Sunday into a church worshiping a god she had no connection to. When her husband is at sea she walks the shoreline to be closer to her gods as she has not given them up although stranded on new soil. When her husband is home during the long winter months she hums the songs of her gods and he sulks by the fire. The chance to worship her gods on her own soil must have been a powerful call. And she will be faced with a decision that will change everything.

Here I would like to point something out. In every version of the story I have read the fisherman is a good man and a good father. He is everything you want in a husband. He is not a drunkard. He has a job. He has a home. When home in the winter he spends it with his family. He loves his children and cares for them. He teaches his children how to fish and thus gives them a skill to sustain their lives. But this story is not about him. It is not a story for men, except maybe a cautionary tale to be careful whom you choose as a bride. But even then who is to know what decision a woman will make when faced with a choice? Some women hear the call so loudly it does not matter if the husband is good.

My mother used to say growing up "women don't just leave. there is always a reason why a woman leaves her family". But that is not a true statement, and years later I see the folly in this kind of thinking. My mother would use this as an excuse to remain unmarried. Every single man she would meet she would say the above statement, as they were all divorced. The truth of the matter is women do just leave. My husband and his first wife were married at 19. I imagine one day she woke up and said this is not the life I want. And she left. There were no children, but if there were I think she would have left them also. She is not a bad person, but when faced with the call of the selkie she made the decision to leave.

And in the context of our story being of the Saami, I imagine another happenstance of a Saami person sailing by as our Selkie woman walked the shore. Her sealskin had returned. Her way home. The story points out the children were almost grown. I wonder if she would have made the same decision if the children were still little. We will never know because that is not how it was told.

Most modern interpretations take the story literally, and I think there is a very literal point to the story like I mentioned with my husbands first wife. But what about the spirit side of the story? I was raised in a apocalyptic fundamentalist christian religion. One of my ex boyfriends broke up with me because he said he was afraid I would go back to the religion. As if the call would be too strong to resist. He was certain he was with a Selkie. If I look deep into my spirit honestly, I see the longing. When I left the religion I lost almost everything. When I say almost everything the only thing I did not loose was my spirit. If I were to listen to the call and return to the 'tribe' I would instantly get it all back. So there I was, empty. Godless, friendless, motherless, fatherless, homeless, and possession less. I would be welcomed back with open arms and I would get my inheritance. I would be the prodigal child. Just like our Selkie. One can never truly know the future or the decisions we are faced to make. So I will not say I would never go back to that religion, but the odds are very unlikely as my previous life was not a life of love, stability or nurturing.

My takeaway from a story like this is honor the inner Selkie woman. If we ignore her she will come and bite us in the ass, and we will feel as if there is no way out except to make the the most drastic of choices. So in this monthly time of emptiness do something that brings her honor. Take a bath with oils, get a massage or drink a hot cup of Skull cap, oat straw & angelica tea!

More info than you could imagine on the stories of the Selkie:
http://www.orkneyjar.com/folklore/selkiefolk/